Excising IT Cancer

IT support San Jose"IT support in San Jose is better than it has ever been, my students! We have defeated the forces of Naragon Singh as supported by The Evil Council, but they will come again, for all evil councils eventually do. They are a cancer, and if not proactively contended against, they will multiply, and a relapse will occur!"

"So, what do we do, Master?"

"Silence Zero Zero One Zero One Zero Zero One! ...I was getting to that. We must... vanquish them." The students gasped as one, for they understood the implication. "Yes, my pupils. We must destroy them entirely. We must eradicate the cancer. We must be the antidote to the virus of sub-par tech delivery! And then it will never come again, and IT support in San Jose province and the Silicon Valley area will truly be the most secure!"

"But when do we start?" one of the students spoke up.

"Right now! Come my IT ninja warriors! Arm yourselves, for we go to catch them by surprise!”

Before the Attack

Scrambling like only a squad of geeks in ninja garb carrying euphemistic IT weaponry can, Robert Naragon and his IT ninjas came over a hillside at a midpoint between San Francisco and San Jose. They could see in a crooked, slanted alleyway below a strip-mall full of evil IT ne'erdowells scuttling about hooking in unsuspecting victims. "Hey missy, got a problem with ya' laptop?" One sleazy man with a twisty mustache asked while hunching his back and wringing his hands.

"Well... yes, but---"

"Lemme see," and he snatched it from her, making sounds that were unprintable, obviously excited by the prospect of ripping off another client. "Ooh... yeah... your gigaditz has a corrupted dingle-flop drive replicating hadoop shenanigans."

The woman looked skeptical, but tried to sound otherwise: "Yes, I... suspected it was something to do with the dingle-flop drive."

"Snicker snicker snicker," said the sleazy evil IT man.

"Excuse me, did you just say 'snicker', or---"

"Don' worry about it! Leave your laptop with us, ma'am, we'll... fix it, heh."

"Oh... okay," and she left the alley with a confused look.

Up and down the street hundreds of sleazy men of this type were hoodwinking otherwise naive men and women. This was the last bastion of openly vile IT shenanigans clouding the reputation of San Jose province and nearby Silicon Valley. Robert turned back and addressed his IT ninjas: "Okay, men! Once more, before we go into battle--- let us recite the Mantra of ITque, Inc. services!" As one, the students repeated after Robert: "We at ITque offer IT support in San Jose which includes:

  • Managed Services Sufficiency!
  • Data Backup and Recovery Replenishment!
  • Email and Network Security Solidarity!
  • Cloud Computing Cohesiveness!
  • Virtualization Veracity!
  • Hardware Honor!
  • Voice and Cable Captivation!
  • Vendor Management Volition!
  • Consulting Completeness!

...and more needs as folk of our fair province require!"

Going Into "Righteous" Battle

Mantra complete, Robert turned around, unsheathed the Sword of the Cutting Edge, and screamed at the top of his lungs: "For San Jose province--- AIIIEEEEE!!!"

The students followed suit, and as one they rushed down the hillside, swords at the ready, eyes on fire with determination, and hearts glowing with the knowledge that they would soon destroy all the evil corrupting IT service delivery in San Jose and nearby Silicon Valley for good.

Categories: Fictional Story, IT Support San Jose, News

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